World's Greatest Harmonica Joke(s) - Bar None!

jawbone · Veteran Member

RE: World's Greatest Harmonica Joke(s) - Bar None!

michael · Senior Member

Monkey goes into a Bar and pulls out a Harmonica...

jawbone · Veteran Member

Why was the harp player standing, staring at his front door...

He was waiting for someone to tell him what key!!!!

Oh man, I crack myself up!!!!!

DutchBones · Senior Member

Thanks J, I feel much better now.... when do I get my beer...?

Beer.... that reminds of......

A singer, a guitar player and a harp player are sitting in a bar..

The singer : "Do you see that beautiful blond over there?.....

That fur coat she is wearing... I bought it for her..."

The guitar player : "Do you see that diamond ring she is wearing on her finger?.......

I gave that to her...."

The harp player : "Do you see that tired look and those bags under her eyes?......

She got those from me....."

jawbone · Veteran Member

I guy walks into a bar - bartender says "What'll you have and what's your IQ"
guy says "Give me a beer and my IQ is 175"
So they discuss Einsteins theory and Quantum physics for quite awhile.

Next guy walks in - "What'll you have and what's your IQ"
I'll have a beer and my IQ's 85"
So they discuss baseball and Nascar for quite awhile.

3rd guy walks into the bar. Bartender says "What'll you have and what's your IQ"
Guy says "I'll have a beer and I think my IQ is 50"
Bartender says "How long have you been playing harmonica?"

Street Player Dude · Member

Am glad you like it, Dutch! And yeah, let's hope never...hehehe!

Thing is, I actually sent this joke off to ventriloquist Jeff Dunham. Really, I did. Through his official site it was.

He had his own show on Comedy Central, and I wrote it straight, like here - But then rewrote with him as the ventriloquist; Old Walter as the manager; and Sweet Daddy Dee as the harp playing dummy.

If you know Jeff's style and these characters, well try picturing them in this routine. I liked it!

But too, all I ever received was a thank you for your interest email response. And Jeff no longer does his Comedy Central show either.   Oh well...

Thing is too, I like 'performing' this joke for people I meet on the street. A great ice breaker it is. And after all, it was inspiredly created by lil ole me, eh? hehehe!

But also, I figured if Spirit ever got me to a JG Jam Camp (I can dream can't I) it would be a great way for me to get over them well to be expected 'jitters' too!   Well all in good time, all in good time!

Smiles!

Keep on jammin'!

DutchBones · Senior Member

Way to go Dude, let's hope the ventriloquist never decides to move to tongue blocking!

And welcome to the forum!

Street Player Dude · Member

Yeah, okay - So I've been playing harmonica for awhile and realized I've never actually heard any harmonica player jokes. While surfing the web, I came across this page from JT30 that had a few. Check them out.

http://www.jt30.com/jt30page/oldsite/jokes.html

Yeah, some were alright, if not corny. But thinking on it, I went to sleep and when I woke up Poof! there one was! Harmonica joke, that is!

I wrote it down, then telling others, they said...uh, well, I'll let you decide for yourself.

Thing is, I haven't been able to top myself after this particular guffaw. But if you have or know any harp player jokes or funny stories - Please feel free to share them here.

Keep on harpin!

Thanks for reading!

Here goes:

Whether people know it or not, the William Morris Agency is the largest talent agency in the world. So a guy goes to the William Morris Agency looking for a job.

Just so happens that day, the agent/manager is having a bad day himself.

As the guy goes in, he sees a line of people waiting in the hallway.

Everyone hears from the door across the hall, "Get Out! Next!!"

The jugglers go in. Manager shouts: "Get Out! Next!"

The clowns go in. Manager shouts: "Get Out! Next!"

The tap dancers go in. "Get Out! Next!"

Its the guys turn now. He walks in and manager says: "Okay, what do you do?"

Guy smiles and says: "Well, Im a ventriloquist."

Manger says: "Get Out! Next!"

"But wait! Hold on!" the guy says, "My act is different!"

"How so?"

"Well, my dummy plays the harmonica while I drink beer."

"Yeah, right! G'wan, blow it out your ass!"

Guy says, "Oh, so you've seen my act?!"

Manager stunned says, "Huh? What? I haven't seen anything yet. G'wan then, show me what you got, show me your act."

Sure enough, the guy pulls out a dummy, sets it on a chair. Pulls out a little harmonica and sets it up on the dummy. He then pulls out an even bigger harmonica, and sticks it down his shorts and pop! right up into his butt cheeks!

For the next ten minutes, the dummy is seen playing the harmonica; the guy is drinking his beer; and the most beautiful music ever between God & Man is heard.

After ten minutes, the manager is in tears. He says: "Buddy, that's the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life. You're hired!"

At that, the dummy pops up his head and in his squeaky voice says: "Hey, if you're going to hire this guy, I quit!"

Manager stunned says: "What? You guys are terrific! You'll make a mint out there!"

Dummy pops up his head again and says: "Yeah, well, you're not the one who has to clean out His harmonica afterwards!"

-- Edited by Street Player Dude on Saturday 16th of October 2010 11:27:14 PM